Nobody has everything.

I'm currently reading my grandmother's book about marriage, and it's super awesome. As I've gotten the chance to discuss parts of it with my family, we mentioned how even the most 'perfect' marriage could look good from the outside in, but that doesn't mean everything is great behind the scenes. Actually, it's quite naive for us to think that there's such a thing as the 'perfect' marriage or relationship because we are fallen human beings, so it's in our nature to screw things up, even when we don't mean to.

Now I'm not married, but I think we can do the same thing with envying other people's lives in general. For instance, I recently have had several people say to me how great it would be to travel and do the things I'm doing. That got me thinking, 'Do these people think that I have it MADE?' Don't get me wrong, I realized how truly blessed I am to be able to have the opportunity to travel the way I do! But it would be foolishness to think my life is perfect or even enviable bc of that. 

The other day, my aunt wisely shared a piece of advice that someone had given her. She said that 'nobody has everything.' Simple, yet profound. 

Let that sink in for a moment. 

Until we are called home to be with our King, there will always be something missing, something disappointing us. I've had my fair share of heartbreak, family drama, and personal screw ups just like the next person. In every situation, the key is to find the positives. 

If you're in a place where you think the grass is greener JUST on the other side ('if I only had more mountains to hike, more city to explore, more exotic places to travel to, a more helpful spouse, a more understanding spouse, a less argumentative sibling, a less grouchy boss, a better looking body, more money, more time, etc...'), then you will never be content. Think of the person's life you envy the most...cause I'm telling you, even THEY have a list of things they wish were different. 

Why don't we flip the talley chart and start keeping track of the positive things in our lives, no matter how small they may seem. God has blessed us in so many different ways, even though we don't deserve, so let's start living like it!

Just Being Real

Dating. 

It's a bittersweet topic for many singles, and its connotation is often taken from their current relationship status.

While there is no shortage of Christian books about dating and relationships, not much is explicitly said in the Bible about how Christians should approach the subject. 

One thing is for sure, 2 Corinthians 6:14 does clearly say, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" The short of it: believers should date other believers.

This concept was drilled into my brain when I was growing up. If they aren't Christians, I don't date them. It's basically the first filter on "the list."

Even so, some have still slipped through the cracks. My standards were not upheld with perfection (ha! no surprise there). 

My religious convictions and my relationship with Jesus run so deep that I know I wouldn't actually be happy marrying/spending the rest of my life with someone who doesn't feel the same way. I want that to be a point of unity and growth, not dissension.

Then comes the question, "So why do you let it happen?" ("it" being a relationship between a believer and unbeliever.)

Great question. I will answer from my perspective, observations, and experiences as to why girls (and guys) put themselves in said situations. Feel free to disagree with me. So here goes nothing:

1. She (or he) simply does not hold to the convictions that Christians should not be "unequally yoked." 

     [Eh, this isn't me because I do agree that it is a biblical concept that should be upheld, but let's be real-some people just aren't worried about it.]

2. All the good, Christian guys are taken.

    [I must admit, this often feels true. While I know it is not, that feeling can often lead to compromise.]

3. If there are any single, Christian guys out there, they aren't interested in dating. Or rather, some of them are too scared to ask a girl on a date. 

     [Being in a seminary context, I cannot affirm how true this is. Dude, if you don't want to date me (or just in general), that's totally fine...just don't act like it you do if that's the case. Boundaries...they're good for everyone.

     Or on the flip side, if you do want to date me, just ask me out on a date. I promise that I won't take it as a proposal for marriage. It's. Just. Coffee.] 

   *Important note to all of my Christian girls out there: give them a chance. If we keep saying, "Nooooo one will ask me on a date!" but don't give a shot to the guys who work up the courage to do so, then we living by a double standard. And that's no fair to our brothers in Christ.

4. Attention is nice, and he's not a bad guy. 

     [It would be foolish to assert that we shouldn't date non-Christians because they are bad people. We are all fallen, depraved humans without Christ, but there are plenty of people out there that are thoughtful, kind, and intentional that do not know the Lord as their Savior. As a girl who wants to feel wanted, "sweet attention" from a guy (Christian or not) is usually welcomed, especially if ^^#3^^ is holding true.

     This seems to be one of the most popular reasons why girls may compromise in this area. After all, he's really nice and funny and sweet. It always harmless at first, and it only gets harder as our hearts get more involved.]

5. They make me feel valuable.

     [This one plays off of #4 but takes it in a slightly different direction. I had a friend tell me, "I think that Christian guys held me up to these unrealistic standards, so it was so refreshing for me to feel good enough." Shoot. Unfortunately the body of Christ can work itself into these situations when we impose unrealistic standards on each other, guys and girls alike.]

6. The situation is simply 50 shade of grey.

    [Ok, maybe that's not the best analogy, but I feel like it's true. Sometimes there are really awesome guys who are just trying to figure things out. We all have our moments of weakness and doubt, and sometimes people walk into our lives when they're in the middle of figuring everything out. I'm not a proponent of missionary dating, but some people just need a strong example of a believer in their lives. Like a said, lots of grey. (This is where you have to use godly discretion and council.)]

Another problem with Christian culture is that everyone expects you to always have your crap together, which just isn't realistic. "Jane, did you hear that Suzy is dating a nonbeliever?!" *GASP* Say it isn't so! 

So maybe you're the person struggling with entertaining a flirty texting relationship or an actual, full-blown relationship with a non-Christian. I would like to encourage you that #1 hold onto the truth that the Bible calls us to, but also #2 you are not alone. You are not a monster. If you feel like you are too emotionally invested in your boyfriend or girlfriend to back out now, seek out godly counsel. There is not a cookie cutter answer for how to proceed in every situation. 

If you're the one standing on the outside watching your friends or family members date non-Christians and you're seeing the hurt that it is ultimately causing, continue to show grace. Save the harsh words; nobody needs a vicious Bible-thumper when it comes to matters of the heart. You do not have to condone their relationship, just don't start condemning them for it. Prayerfully consider how you should approach your friend, encourage them in truth, and mostly, just be there for them. They probably know the right answer; they just need a chance to get there. 

Unhindered Faith

This semester has been...different than I expected. I assumed I would come in to seminary and my whole world would be turned on its head. While I have definitely been encouraged by awesome professors and have learned a great deal, I don't feel like my whole worldview has been rocked (like it seems to be for some people). 

Am I doing this seminary thing right?? I don't even know...

Flashback to September-I started off the semester still working two jobs, training for a triathlon, having a million wedding videos to edit (ok, maybe that's a slight exaggeration), jumping right into class, and eventually being slap worn out. So needless to say, September felt like the month from hell, and I am glad I made it through!

Here I am two months later, and now the pressures of next semester are beginning to set in.

Money and time. Can I just blame those two things on the Fall? Cause life is much easier when neither of those is a consideration. 

But alas, they're still a reality, and I must make decisions based off of that fact. 

Back to the idea that life is a delicate balance of wisdom and faith-it can be really hard to distinguish between my selfish desires and the Lord's leading. Then as a result of that, it affects how I pray because how do I boldly pray for something if I don't know if it's me being selfish or not?

I realized something else this morning as I was journaling. I don't doubt that God can provide for my finances next semester; I doubt that He will. That's silly, I know, but that's where I am. I've seen Him move in my life personally as well as friends' lives enough to know that He definitely can work in crazy, unexplainable ways.

As a result of this doubt, I find myself with a hindered faith. I don't want to pray or live that way. And maybe God's answer to my prayer won't look exactly how I want it to, but if my faith is truly unhindered, I will be ok with that. 

So here's my prayer for myself and my encouragement to you:

Live/pray with an unhindered faith.

Mid-Year Check In

Everybody always gets so excited about setting resolutions at the beginning of the new year, but how often do we keep up with those?

Well, here I am checking in at the halfway point (ok fine, it's a little after halfway...you get the point).

This was the list I came up with:

Finish paying off my student loans

I did this!! 9 months and a TON of work hours later...I'M DONE!!!

(Oh, and I got a nose ring...)

Memorize Romans 8 and Philippians 4

Unfortunately, I have not been as good at this as I have wanted to be. I have the first few verses of Romans 8 memorized, but I haven't made much more progress on Philippians 4 than what I already had memorized.

Get plugged into a church in Dallas

YES, I am currently attending Gracehill Community. I have had the privilege of getting to know the preacher's daughters a little better too, which has been fun. PKs unite! haha.

Figure out what the heck I am supposed to do for my taxes (time to put on my big girl panties, ughhhhh)

Gosh, this one was a pain, but I did it! My dad helped me check and double check and correct a million times, but overall, I DID MY OWN TAXES!

Start keeping a budget instead of just spending money whenever I have it

Ummmmm. Ok, still working on this one for sure.

Keep receipts for Catchlight [by Courtney.] for travel expenses

Doing better! I still need to print out some digital receipts to catch up, but then I should be good. 

Don't get overwhelmed or cynical by everyone getting engaged/married around me, but continue in prayer for those couples and be happy for them

I'm actually proud of myself on this one. Granted, I will still scroll through my Facebook occasionally and say, "Oh, more engagements and babies." But in general, I feel like my heart is in a good place. The Lord has done some cool things with my heart this past year. 

Don't rush into a relationship because of loneliness

Ha. Nope, definitely haven't done this! I have gotten to jam out to Beyoncé's "Single Ladies" at every wedding reception I've attended this summer. 

Intentionally love on the people around me (either by texts or letters or hanging out)

I would like to think I'm doing pretty good at this one. Although I never got around to mailing a couple of letters that I meant to send....whoops. Just gotta be more intentional in some areas.

Find a resolution accountability partner-someone who is going to check up on me and will make sure I'm sticking to the goals I set

Lauren Kirkpatrick has taken on this role, and I'm so grateful she has. Every once in a while she'll say, "So how's your list coming," and it's always a nice kick in the pants. Accountability is awesome. 

So here's a to strong second half of the year!!!

Why I'm STILL wearing my purity ring

Here's my purity ring. It's a little beaten up and scratched, but that's because I've been wearing it since my parents gave it to me for my 16th birthday. I wear it on my left ring finger, so people often ask me if I'm married. I simply respond with, "No, it's a purity ring," and they are usually surprised or encouraged because it's not often that you hear a single, 23-year-old woman talk about purity. 

There seems to be a trend in Christian culture that is revolting against Christian culture itself (does that mean they're Christian hipsters?...anyways, different discussion). Now, there are some parts of Christian culture that may deserve to be revolted against, but I think we have to be careful in how we broach the subject because too often the pendulum just swings in the other direction. 

You can disagree, but I think some things in Christian culture (like wearing purity rings, which swimsuits we buy, what time of the day I do my devotional, etc.) come down to where your heart is. The truths in the Bible will remain the same, but the Lord can convict us all on different levels about different things. 

I've seen several girls write blog posts about taking off their purity rings and their reasonings behind it. Granted, some of their points are valid, but I believe there are still valid points on both sides.

For instance, I'm not just wearing my ring until the man of my dreams comes to sweep me off my feet and replace my purity ring with a big ol' rock, so we can dance to "God Gave Me You" at the reception. And some girls have struggled that-the idea that life begins after you get married. 

I'm not wearing my purity ring as a place holder in my life until a man comes in to complete me. 

Some people relate to this in other ways. Maybe they are waiting to get their dream job or have kids or own their own house or be financially independent. Whatever it is that you're waiting for or striving towards, know that your life has already begun. There are beautiful things and people around you, so begin to appreciate those instead of just always living in the future and therefore missing out on the present. (Ok, soapbox moment is done...)

Back to the purity rings. I also don't wear it as a symbol of being holier-than-thou. Yes, it is an outward symbol to the world that I am making a very conscious decision to save sex for marriage, but that doesn't mean that I am automatically full of disdain for people that have not made that decision. It is a personal decision I have made off of my religious beliefs. 

So I'm not saying that every Christian girl should run to the nearest James Avery store and pick up a purity ring because you're not being a good witness if you don't. But I'm also not saying that every girl that has one should take it off because you are wrongly motivated in wearing it. Like I've said before, it's time for an evaluation of our hearts. 

Is having a purity ring (or any other religious symbol....WWJD bracelets, anybody?) becoming a stumbling block of pride? Then maybe it's time to take it off but just continue with your commitment in a more private manner. Is it something that serves as a humble reminder of a decision that you've committed to? Then leave it on and continue to stand strong. 

It's all about balance. A pendulum going too far in either direction can be dangerous. 

Laughter

Ecclesiastes 3:1,4 says-"For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven: [...] a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance"

Yes, there will be times of weeping and mourning, but there will also be times of laughing and dancing. How often we get caught up in moping over the negative things in life rather than celebrate the small, fun things. Laughing with friends and family is actually one of my favorite things to do because it can completely turn your day around.

A few of you may know that I keep a "quotes list" simply for the fact of reminiscing through the past and remembering the good times. It was funny because in college, it became a "thing" to make the quotes list (and I'm glad my friends got so on board with it!) :]

Some of these may be funny to you because you were there, and some may or may not be funny because you have absolutely NO context of what the heck is going on. Either way, enjoy! 

[These are all from summer of 2013-winter of 2014]:

Mama, Daddy wants to take you on a date to the gas station. -Nathan

This was definitely the trippiest 4/20 I've ever experienced. -me
   I don't even remember what I did...oh wait! That sounds bad! -Holly

Me llamo grande. -Killa

What better way to minister than to be in shape? -JT

I have an idea, Shay. Wait no, it was selfish. It was a bad idea after I thought about it. -Killa

   Let's hear it. -Holly

Ok, I wanted to take a picture of me in the water acting like a model. -Killa

THAT'S where I want to go! -Holly

   Where? France? -me

No, TJMAXX. -Holly

I think he thought I was flirting, but that was my I-need-more-water look. -me

I just have to say, I absolutely love Luke Bryan. I'm so glad he's from Georgia. Makes me Georgia proud. -Mama

It takes 25 days to get something to California?! -Sarah Cavazos

   Gosh, they're not riding the pony express anymore! -Lauren Paxton

It's ok, I'm embracing it because the BET awards are today. -Killa

(about the possibility of it raining during the Peachtree Road Race) It's gunna be fun. It'll be an uphill Slip-n-Slide the whole time. -Branny

You know, if you notice when there's a full moon, there's twice as many squirrels dead in the road. -Nana

(after our paint party for Nikki) I really have to pee. -me

   You're gunna urinate rainbows. -Barge

Do y'all ever agree on anything? -Aunt Laura

   Yeah, if we're all right. -Daddy

In any language, a spanking works. -Mama

I could fart anytime I wanted, especially around these geysers. No one would be the wiser. -Nathan

Georgia is your home, don't ever forget that. Texas is ok...at least they're Republican and believe in guns. -Branny

You're so funny it ain't even right! -Ansley

   You can just call me lefty! -me

I don't think I'm strong enough to serve ice cream. -Allie K.

I can see you marrying an Indian. Ramesh and Courtney forever. -LK

I'm gunna do a twit. Wait, let me rephrase that. -Ansley

You didn't even go to Georgia Bulldog University! -LK

My day was made because I didn't have needle nose pliers, and I found some on the street! -Mr. Greg

I thought my dad was just getting old, but his older siblings are just fine! -Jilly

Is guacamole an open invitation, Courtney? -LK

Preschool is my birth control. -Jilly

   PumpItUp was our birth control. -LK

Not having sex is mine. -Sara Beth

These tweezers are made in China....what the heck?? We couldn't even make a pair of tweezers? -Jonathan G

(About makeup) It's fun! It's like color correction for your face! -Rosalee

Maulk and frookies

Oh nice, Daniel. I didn't know you knew that trick (squeezing icing out of a Ziploc bag). -LK

   Well, I WAS homeschooled. -Daniel

So they're just headphones for $200?? They don't come with music already in them? -Stephanie B.

(About Tommy Boy) Oh, $3.99?? It's worth twice that! -Mr. Greg

You've probably got the best radio system out here. -Drew

   Well, this guy might can compete. What does he have in the back there? Oh...groceries. 

-Daniel

They don't hire anybody but cute people for this show (PLL). -me

   The word is hot. -Daniel

Cute just doesn't cut it. Cute gets killed. -Drew

"And then I got skinny." That's a thing you'll hear few Burkes say. -Gage

My church is nondeminsional. -Aldo 

Fit people problems..."Oh, my awesome muscles are sore." And THAT'S why I don't work out. -Jordan Parker

So does the Bible study fast include only having 7 boyfriends? -Jordan P

Isn't the spleen in your leg? Oh wait...that's the shin. -Ashley

I think I pulled a muscle in my shoulder yesterday sealing envelopes. -Brandon G

What was that rich movie that he made? -Erin

   Richie Rich. -me, LK, and Christian 

My snapchats are just me in the shower drinking beer. -Cameron Ray

I need more vinegar. I want to become a pickle myself. -Ryan H

Oh, people still smoke cigarettes at Apple. -me

   Like real cigarettes? They don't have iSmokes? -Jonathan

Mother Nature...she's a woman. That's why she keeps changing her mind. -Jonathan

Men decorating the Table Podcast leads to two women at Lowe's looking for Velcro...shoulda let us help in the first place. -Ashley

But I don't think he actually likes me. I just have to talk him into it. -LK

So she planted a garden, recycled, drove only one car...-Jilly

   I cut down a tree! -Ana

That's kind of the opposite...-Jilly

You've never struck me as a tomboy. -Ryan H

   I LOVE tennis shoes. -Ashley

Oh, Spirit is an airline? I thought it was some Christian joke. -Bethany

You can't have such high expectations! It's a PC!! -Daniel (yes, he really said this)

(About Mark Cuban) He's still in a fraternity. -Daniel

   Yeah, it's called a country club. -David

Do y'all have enough air back there? -Nancy

   Yeah, we're good. It's like a tornado. -Jonathan

What, are they just bored and type in "country girl?" That's like me searching #mexican. 

-Ansley

If Justin is dating a girl who doesn't like tattoos, just send her my way. -Branny

Oh Craig and his list. -Steph
   Angie has a list too. -Jessica
Yeah but you have to payyyyy to see Angie's list. -Steph
   Just like a woman...-Erin

Hashtags don't make sense to me. I could use a hashtag, and nobody would ever know it. 
-Mr. Greg


I think I accidentally painted marijuana. -Jilly


I'm taking swimming classes in the fall cause I don't know how to swim. That's false-I was a lifeguard for two summers. -David


I need to STOP getting emails from Bloomingdale's. -Daniel


Crap, I didn't realize raspberry tea was sweet! -Daniel
   You should get some! -SB
No, I'm trying to...-Daniel
   ...watch your figure with a calzone?? -David


I have impeccable, spacial estimation. -SB


Muhammad O'Lady -Daniel


Ahhh! -David
   What? -me
Nothing. You'll find out soon enough. And it'll be funny. -David
   It's a fart. -SB


Wipe in, wipe out. See these cat-like reflections? -Greg


I've gotta stop buying peanut butter that requires you to stir it. This is so freaking annoying. 
-Jonathan Galloway


I'm actually missing Taco Joint...it's a strange sensation. -Caroline


Mmm Chick-Fil-A...good, home-cooking. -Caroline
   ....you know you're from Georgia when...-me


Most of my quotes will probably be about food. -Caroline


If you were a murderer, what would be your method of choice? -Ashley
   My good looks. -JGally

Thanks to everybody who joined in on the memories and helped make me laugh! Obviously some of them had to be edited down in order to share on the Internet, so don't be offended if you weren't included in this list. Love y'all! :]

Patience

Ok, let me give you a little backstory. In college, our activities board hosted random things for the students to do on campus. One of those activities was making stuffed animals (kind of like Build-a-Bear) as a remembrance of our childhood as well as a stress reliever. 

[Yes, we were college students, but sometimes you just need the comfort of a stuffed animal...]

So I picked a white rabbit as my stuffed animal. When I was trying to decide what to name it, I was apparently struggling with patience (who knew), so I creatively named her Patience. 

Fast forward to when Holly Curry was spending the night with me in my dorm room junior year. We would drag my futon mattress into my room, so one of us could sleep on the bed and one on the futon mattress. While I can't recall the story exactly, I'm pretty sure as we were up late talking, and at one point I asked Holly to toss Patience to me. 

I'm sitting on the futon mattress in the dark, just waiting for Holly to hand it to me. Next thing I know, I'm being smacked in the face with a stuffed bunny. 

Needless to say, I didn't really think that one through :]

Anyways, after we had a good laugh about it, Holly responds with, "Then Patience hit ya like a bunny in the dark."

I say all of that to lay out how I'm feeling-sometimes patience just hits me like a bunny in the dark....

Even if patience is something I know I need or want, the delivery of it doesn't always feel good. Patience isn't something we just acquire; it's more like an on-the-job-training situation. 

[Photo credit: www.deathtothestockphoto.com]

This past year has been so awesome, and I can't believe it's already been a year since I've graduated college (but at the same time that it's only been a year....my how time flies). Thinking back to my life this time a year ago, I was soooooo stressed about what I would do for a job. Fortunately, the Lord has blessed me with TWO great jobs, and I am almost done paying off my student loans (can I get an AMEN??). 

Even with those two jobs and things going seemingly well, I am still at a loss for where I want to go next. The planning side of me has been freaking out the past few months, but it has been growing me in all kinds of new ways when it comes to trusting the Lord. 

So my future is still about as clear as mud, but I'm learning to take it one step at a time because that's all I can do right now. I know that the Lord has placed dreams on my heart for a reason, and in due time, He will make it clear as to how those dreams will come to fruition. 

Patience has indeed hit me like a bunny in the dark, but I am learning to embrace it because one the lights are turned on the the whole plan is eventually revealed, I know it will have been worth the wait.