I have been in some weird funk these past couple of weeks. People would ask if I was ok, and I honestly couldn't even tell them what was wrong or what was really bothering me. It's not that I didn't want to; I just couldn't put my finger on it.
As the answer continued to allude me, I resigned to just ride the funk out. Eventually things would get better, right? Wrong.
On Sunday, Sara Beth came up to me and asked what was wrong. I think it was a combination of her being intentional and me being at my breaking point that allowed me to finally open up and be real with myself (because I had plenty of other great friends check up on me too but to no avail).
I told her about everything that was on my heart and mind-being overwhelmed with starting a new job, trying to keep up with work at my first job, missing church for a few weeks in a row because of training, my brother being sent off to basic training and me not being there, potentially not getting to see my family at Christmas, boys (when is there NOT something to do with boys?!), me not having a desire to get in the Word, and just being exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally.
As my words and tears began to flow forth, she leaned over and prayed for me, and even though I had done absolutely nothing different, I felt a freeing sensation come wash over me.
The Lord knew (and knows) my heart. He knows everything I've got going on right now. He knows I am not strong enough to do it on my own (which I am constantly reminding myself of). So I spent some time hammocking that day and just read and reflected on some scripture.
My heart and mind are still not in perfect condition, but they are doing much better. Sometimes we just have to swallow our pride long enough to admit and confess the junk that we've got going on in our lives.
I truly believe there is a power in speaking or putting stuff in writing. It makes it so much more real. At that point, you either have to face it or blatantly ignore it. I am finally beginning to face this craziness I have going on in my life right now, and it feels great.
As the answer continued to allude me, I resigned to just ride the funk out. Eventually things would get better, right? Wrong.
On Sunday, Sara Beth came up to me and asked what was wrong. I think it was a combination of her being intentional and me being at my breaking point that allowed me to finally open up and be real with myself (because I had plenty of other great friends check up on me too but to no avail).
I told her about everything that was on my heart and mind-being overwhelmed with starting a new job, trying to keep up with work at my first job, missing church for a few weeks in a row because of training, my brother being sent off to basic training and me not being there, potentially not getting to see my family at Christmas, boys (when is there NOT something to do with boys?!), me not having a desire to get in the Word, and just being exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally.
As my words and tears began to flow forth, she leaned over and prayed for me, and even though I had done absolutely nothing different, I felt a freeing sensation come wash over me.
The Lord knew (and knows) my heart. He knows everything I've got going on right now. He knows I am not strong enough to do it on my own (which I am constantly reminding myself of). So I spent some time hammocking that day and just read and reflected on some scripture.
My heart and mind are still not in perfect condition, but they are doing much better. Sometimes we just have to swallow our pride long enough to admit and confess the junk that we've got going on in our lives.
I truly believe there is a power in speaking or putting stuff in writing. It makes it so much more real. At that point, you either have to face it or blatantly ignore it. I am finally beginning to face this craziness I have going on in my life right now, and it feels great.
